i don’t know what to do anymore
I feel like I’m responding a little late, but unfortunately, living in a different time zone can be a bit of a burden in situations like these.
I’m really sorry to hear you’re having so many issues, especially since I basically have the same problems, except for the relationship thing, since I’m single and always have been, but I’ve felt that way with friends, so I can try to give a little advice, however unhelpful it might be. I’m going to tell you a lot about myself, since I don’t want to start assuming anything about you and get everything totally wrong. Hopefully my experience can help you a bit.